When I love as I was taught, because it is what you do does that take away from the real areas I was built to love. I don’t think loving ever takes away from other loving. Viewing what we are “supposed” to love as if it were not a mechanical functionality of our place and roles in this society does seem to be teetering on the verge of a lie.
Many of our loves in this era are based on what we are taught should be loved. The right clothes make us feel we fit in, the right dinner party goodies make us feel gracious etc. etc. How many of the mechanical loves in our lives are things we can choose to alter before we lose a security in an acceptable behavior to be part of a group tradition? How many of these have become a needless stressor when compared to the effort that could be used to create concrete future plans towards a more humane world? Perhaps they are the thing in their positive form that enables us to exchange those very ideas in a way that respects us all.
In their negative forms they are chaining us to a hate culture more celebrated for a clever and particular nasty comment on social media, than a supportive or innovative interaction. It is only to a purely mechanical heart that hate can ever be better than real positive innovation.